Over at the Register, there’s an account of a recent vote of the Planning Board 4-2 in favor of a conditional use, and a later vote 6-1 in favor of that same use. Counting all the votes, that’s an overwhelming 10-3 vote in favor.
Register “Editor” Carrie Dampier, apparently disappointed in those results, writes her copy from the minority side’s point of view. She uses most of that copy to vent the disappointed minority’s arguments.
Let’s take a quick stab at how Dampier’s technique would apply to a famous event, using the ‘disappointed-minority-gets-all-my support’ approach.
Moscow, USSR — July 21, 1969
Chief Soviet rocket designer Vasily Mishin commented early this morning on America’s successful moon landing yesterday. Mishin expressed surprise at the “imperialist-capitalist notion” that there had ever been a space race, or that the Soviet Union ever sought to reach the moon before the United States. Mishin’s insightful remarks called into question the euphoria in the United States, and throughout the civilized world, at the technological and scientific success of a manned landing on the moon.
“The Motherland is a purely peaceful, cooperative government committed to solidarity with all peoples and cadres. We asked Americans if they wanted to join in expedition using superior Soviet technology, but they insisted on going alone in uncooperative and impatient spirit. Advanced Soviet design for moon landing will be available no later than 2025, but edgy Americans couldn’t relax like Chairman Brezhnev and Soviet leadership.”
Mishin also cast doubt on the choice of food the Apollo 11 crew had on board their capsule, noting that the American use of Tang as a drink on the lunar expedition called into question the merit of the entire effort. “It’s well-known principle that scientific mission cannot be success with wrong choice of beverage,” scoffed Mishin, who wryly noted that he had warned American counterparts about their ignorance of “sound Soviet understanding of powered-drink standards.”
Dampier’s transparent bias is one reason, by all accounts, that the Register remains The Parakeet’s Choice!
