Can Dr. Roy Nosek, acerbic scourge of ordinance infractions, defeat incumbent at-large Council member Marilyn Kienbaum? Yes, but it’s a long shot. I am no supporter of either candidate (cf. Kissinger, “It’s a shame they both can’t lose.”). Still, here’s Nosek’s tough-row-to-hoe path to victory:
- Debate. Debate Kienbaum as often as possible, on television or large public forums. Learn to be genuinely funny and deferential, if that’s even possible. If Nosek would only lighten up a bit, he’s serve his candidacy handsomely. Kienbaum cannot win a debate with Nosek, except on sympathy when he overplays his hand (as he does, at least 93.42% of the time).
- Lawn Signs. Nosek wants a voluntary moratorium on candidate lawn signs. I think it’s a bad idea, but also a bad idea for him. Most will correctly assume that grandmotherly Kienbaum will be the popular favorite, but some strategically-placed Nosek-for-Council signs will give him an aura of support, that might actually make others more inclined to him, or less certain of her inevitability. Nosek shouldn’t shy from signs, but rather fight her on that front.
- Door-to-Door. Nosek should visit every house in the city. As many as possible. Let each resident know that he’s running, and that he will talk to anyone.
- Public Forums. Be available to talk, even beyond visits to homes. Put up a card table and a sign somewhere. (The good doctor surely knows that he’ll have to comply with city regulations, but how could he not? No matter – none of those regulations will — or legally can — involve the mere content of his political speech. He’s entitled even if people don’t like him.
- Make a Video or Slides for Our Public Access Channel. This is risky for Nosek – someone will have to help him make sure it’s light, funny, and witty (that’s light and funny and witty as ordinary people understand the concept). He’ll need an editor. (If there’s one up now, then I’ve missed it.)
- Find a Student Spokesperson or Two for Support. There have to be a few quislings somewhere in the city. There are probably even tuna who’ll eat Starkist® , after all. Nosek needs some student supporters, and not just uptight ones. He’ll need a cadre who actually look and talk like mainstream students. Coeds would be ideal, really.
- Campaign Swag. Perhaps not a bad idea, if someone explains to Nosek what swag means.
- Self-Deprecating Humor. This won’t be easy for Nosek, but it’s an outside possibility. He could even have fun with a James Bond “Dr. No” persona. Corny, but why not dispel with a little humor fears that he’ll spend the next two years brow-beating city officials?
Next: How likely favorite Kienbaum wins the Council race, despite facing a more tenacious — by far — opponent.