I have had doubts about a multi-million dollar Innovation Center and Tech Park for Whitewater, Wisconsin. The costs are certain and rising, the benefits uncertain, and the city’s planning shifts from one Big Thing to another, like a series of teenage fads.
Here’s what the Innovation Center is supposed to look like:
Impressive, isn’t it?
Perhaps I should reconsider my opposition. I saw a post at the website BoingBoing that really gave me pause, and made me re-think my doubts about an innovation center. Their post, entitled “Levitating Cat” persuaded me to reconsider.
Here’s a photo of the cat:
All these years in Whitewater, and I have never seen a cat that could levitate. I like cats, and have blogged about them, but I have not once seen a telekinetic feline.
Not once.
I’m stunned. Somewhere on earth, perhaps far from Whitewater, there are cats that can fly with the power of their minds.
In Whitewater, at the groundbreaking for our Innovation Center, nearly a dozen humans needed shovels just to move a little bit of dirt. More concerning: these were supposed to be Whitewater’s super-smart, visionary humans. Even they needed shovels.
Meanwhile, there’s a place somewhere where cats can levitate, and presumably move other objects, too. What if it’s a communist country? These cats could be Reds, from North Korea, perhaps.
North Korea is a brutal, oppressive hell, terrible to its own people, and a threat to its neighbors. It would be far more dangerous if that regime had a force of brainy, but evil, cats.
Whitewater may be facing an unfavorable feline levitation gap.
There is no time to lose – we need a bigger Innovation Center to help teach Whitewater’s cats to fly. If we were prepared to waste spend eleven million on a center before, we should be ready to commit at least twice as much now.
The existing proposal is probably too small. At least the entire first floor would need to be turned over to a litterbox, and there would need to be adequate space for cat toys and scratching posts. We’ll have to double the size from the current proposal, at a minimum.
He who hesitates is lost – time to plan and spend big, really big.