Here’s my local, amateur version of the late William Safire’s long-standing tradition of offering annual predictions. The list for 2011:
1. In 2011, the University will win the following number of national sports championships:
A. None
B. One
C. Two
D. More than two
2. Under a new focus on blighted properties, the City of Whitewater will
A. Help rehabilitate a few properties and condemn a few others
B. Make lasting headway against blight
C. Make only temporary headway against blight
D. Accidentally condemn Whitewater’s Municipal Building on aesthetic grounds
3. Of the following print publications, how many will fold in 2011? (Daily Union, Janesville Gazette, Good Morning Advertiser, Whitewater Register)
A. None
B. One
C. Two
D. More than two
4. This year, how many incumbent Common Council members will be defeated in their bids for office?
A. None
B. One
C. Two
D. Three
5. New 2010 Census figures will show that poverty from 2000 to 2010
A. Dropped
B. Increased slightly
C. Increased significantly — up 1/10th or more as an increase over the decade
D. Was unchanged
6. In 2011, the Whitewater Innovation Center will serve as
A. a catalyst for meaningful job growth
B. a source of meaningful technological innovation
C. a waste of money, time, and greenspace
D. Wisconsin’s largest LEED-certified pigeon coop
7. 2010 Census figures will show that compared with Jefferson, Fort Atkinson, Delavan, and Palymra, Whitewater’s economy is
A. Stronger
B. About the same
C. Weaker
D. Much weaker
8. To assure the loyalty of all residents to the vision and goals of the City of Whitewater, City Manager Brunner will propose that each resident
A. Complete a Myers Briggs evaluation
B. Carry a small red book with Brunner’s most popular sayings
C. Stand in his or her doorway at dawn, and sing the city’s Ballard of Acquiescence and Assimilation Stanzas One through Three, and Five
D. Find and publish no fewer than two dozen, mostly inapt quotations to be used as proof of an enlightened sensibility
9. Large swaths of Whitewater’s Business park will
A. Remain vacant
B. Remain seeded with corn (as they are now)!
C. Be filled with new businesses
D. Become a landfill and state-certified seagull preserve
10. The Whitewater Unified School District’s proposal to the state for a charter school will be
A. Approved
B. Denied
C. Tabled
D. Unfunded due to changes in state and federal funding
Adams’s guesses for 2011:
1. In 2011, the University will win the following number of national sports championships:
C. Two
2. Under a new focus on blighted properties, the City of Whitewater will
A. Help rehabilitate a few properties and condemn a few others
and
C. Make only temporary headway against blight
Although, there’s an outside chance that, following a party, some official will
D. Accidentally condemn Whitewater’s Municipal Building on aesthetic grounds
3. Of the following print publications, how many will fold in 2011? (Daily Union, Janesville Gazette, Good Morning Advertiser, Whitewater Register)
B. One
4. This year, how many incumbent Common Council members will be defeated in their bids for office?
B. One
5. New 2010 Census figures will show that poverty from 2000 to 2010
C. Increased significantly — up 1/10th or more as an increase over the decade
6. In 2011, the Whitewater Innovation Center will serve as
C. a waste of money, time, and greenspace
although, there’s an outside chance that it will become
D. Wisconsin’s largest LEED-certified pigeon coop
7. 2010 Census figures will show that compared with Jefferson, Fort Artkinson, Delavan, and Palymra, Whitewater’s economy is
C. Weaker
8. To assure the loyalty of all residents to the vision and goals of the City of Whitewater, City Manager Brunner will propose that each resident
B. Carry a small red book with Brunner’s most popular sayings
9. Large swaths of Whitewater’s Business park will
A. Remain vacant
and
B. Remain seeded with corn (as they are now)!
10. The Whitewater Unified School District’s proposal to the state for a charter school will be
A. Approved