Really, Really Urgent CDA Announcement!

Shortly after booting my computer this April 1st morning, I found staring back at me the following Really Really Urgent Message from the “Whitewater Community Development Authority.”  Perhaps it has something to do with a recent excuse-making press release story at the Gazette.


News Release: April 1, 2019

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE (this means now!) 

Really Really Urgent Message

WHITEWATER – Apr. 1, 2019 – The Whitewater Community Development Authority, a wholly-owned subsidiary of (well, you, know…) would like to communicate an excellent message that will be a shining example for the city, state, nation, and nearby planets & stars.  We now declare the following to the ordinary people of the city:

The (taxpayer-funded) check is in the mail.

Our computer crashed.

The dog ate our project.

We’ve been so busy with other things.

Honestly, we didn’t think you still cared.

Give us another chance, baby.

We think about you all the time.

We’re not about us – we’re about you.

It’s cute how worked up you get sometimes – you’re just adorable when you’re upset.

Thanks, we’ll take it from here.

As it is often said that one cannot over-communicate, it only seems right to share.  It’s true, shining message notwithstanding, that decades of the CDA’s approach have left the city with low-income status and increasing poverty.

But what’s individual and household income compared with headlines and press releases?

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3 years ago

LMAO! Seriously, good post. A lot if us had hope that business incentives would lift up the area but that has not happened. The WEDC Foxconn model is a failure. You don’t need stats for that although they help. It’s crystal clear that Whitewater’s economy is weak. The Innovation building got residents nothing. No one cares about that stupid hotel. They can’t admit that the plan is bad so they keep doubling down. These guys say that they can buy Whitewater a grocery but the point is that any grocery they dig up will start struggling like the old ones did.

3 years ago

Saw that Gazette story over the weekend. Did you know that they would have a Sunday story when you posted your sci-fi metaphor (Amazing Stories) on Friday? Either you knew or are a good guesser.

I’m not a libertarian and I think they have too much faith in capitalism. But the dislike of business welfare is on target. The other comment is right. Anyone who’s been in Whitewater a long time (with any view) should be able to figure out all these buildings haven’t fixed things.

The last part is the most insightful: “It’s cute how worked up you get sometimes – you’re just adorable when you’re upset. Thanks, we’ll take it from here.” It shows a good ear for their condescension. They may not understand you very well but you seem to understand them just fine.

Finally, if Whitewater really cares about community you should look at a new project like the Community Space. That’s real community development by people for people. If you don’t know about it you should check it out on the east side of town.