Longtime readers know that this website has warned residents about the dangers of marauding coyotes, and their stealthy efforts to overwhelm civilization and rule this planet. See Coyotes Begin War Against Humanity. Reports about coyote designs on Milwaukee (part of FW’s Daily Bread post for today) show how little time is left to act.
Doubtless, a key component of their strategy is the conquest of Whitewater.
Even if residents have little regard for themselves, the least they could do is prepare their pets. A chihuahua in the southwest named Beanie, now a viral sensation for wearing products from Coyote Vest, shows us the way forward:
Beanie wears her coyote vest to ward off attacks in the desert. AMINA AKHTAR / COURTESYEarlier this week, an image of a tiny dog in some kind of wild neon dog armor began to ricochet around the internet. A popular dog-rating Twitter account pronounced her coyote-proof. The comedian Andy Richter named the little pup the next host of the Academy Awards.
Coyote Vest has a full line of products for dogs – and cats – to keep them safe from coyotes, hawks, or aggressive dogs. Dogs and cats wearing this gear will not only be safe, but will look sharp in a Mad Max/punk rocker kind of way. (I have no connection to the company, obviously; I just like the idea of denying coyotes and hawks a meal of domesticated pets.)
So, Whitewater: even if thousands of residents foolishly allow the city to be overrun, at least a few properly-equipped pets might survive to carry on, and perhaps one day even rebuild.