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Two Big Culinary Mistakes

Everyone has foods they dislike, preparations they dislike, etc. (It sometimes seems that the anchovy exists only to be the objects of diners’ scorn.)

I don’t mind anchovies, but I’ve two dislikes of my own.

Iceberg

Too much lettuce. Very often, an entire plate sits filled with lettuce (typically iceberg), as though no one could think of anything better to offer, or could tolerate the sight of the plate below.

Lettuce should be one, but only one, element of a meal. That element should mean more (and take up less space) than the equivalent of packing peanuts on a plate.

Canned-Mushrooms

Canned mushrooms. Utterly and completely revolting. Unlike lettuce, any amount of canned mushrooms is an amount too large. They look like, feel like, and sometimes taste like small rubber gaskets.

If I were lost in the wilderness, I’d eat all sorts of foods nearby, and think nothing of it except gratitude for finding sustenance. That’s the nature of a wilderness survival experience. That’s what a person should expect, without fuss or worry. (Sad truth: the edible plants one finds in the nature are free of the preservatives one finds in canned foods.)

But that’s not a meal in a restaurant, for example – there a patron goes for a relaxing time at his or her own expense.

There, I’m sure, packing peanuts and rubber gaskets don’t belong on one’s plate.

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