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Weird Tales

Massachusetts Man to Be Charged with Toilet Paper Assault

Shouldn’t whistling while working be commendable? A Massachusetts man is facing an assault charge for allegedly hitting a town hall custodian on the back of the head with a roll of toilet paper because he was angry the cleaning man was whistling while he worked. See, Massachusetts Man to Be Charged with Toilet Paper Assault.

Video: Potty-Training Your Cat

Update: For those interested in both cats and odd slice of life stories, I can think of no better combination than this video from the Onion’s AV club. (H/t to the Huffington Post.) Formatting’s now been fixed. Potty-training Your Cat Link: http://www.avclub.com/articles/pottytraining-your-cat,45653/

Georgia Politician: Boring Names Will Stop Sign Theft

McIntosh County has a problem – costing thousands of dollars each year – of people stealing street signs. County Commissioner Mark Douglas has a solution – make the names of the signs boring. It’s a clever idea, although it would mean a change of street names, and the end of any clever or whimsical choices.…

On the Trail of the Beast of Bray Road

I’m not on Facebook, because, well, I’m just not hip that way. The loss is mine, though, because if I were on Facebook, then I could sign up for a Halloween-eve expedition to search for Beast of Bray Road. WalworthCountyToday.com reports on the search: a hunt from 9 p.m. Oct. 30 through 3 a.m. Oct.…

La Crosse Tribune: Woman Bags 1,025-Pound Alligator in S.C. Lake

Maryellen Mara-Christian’s hunting trip to South Carolina was a memorable one – she got an alligator weighing more than a thousand pounds. For all it’s size, the animal offered only a small amount of meat: of the 1,025-pound animal, only 40 pounds were reportedly edible. See, La Crosse Tribune: Woman Bags 1,025-Pound Alligator in S.C.…

Wisconsin, We Can Do Better! Swallow, Smallest Cow In The World, Is 33 Inches From Hind To Foot

Outrageous and inexplicable: Wisconsin is America’s Dairyland, and because anything American is 73% better than anything English, there’s no reason that Wisconsin shouldn’t have the world’s smallest and most-interesting cow. If Wisconsin’s Governor Doyle wants to do something truly memorable before leaving office in January, then he should commit Wisconsin to a crash program in…