On Public Urination in Whitewater

Not an actual canine – for representational purposes only – DO NOT IMITATE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES

Well, here we are: after all these years of hearing that the town fathers were descended from Olympus, to a city of their unsurpassable design, one hears the Whitewater Common Council discussing the sometime problem of public urination.

Needless to say, I don’t support this foul habit, and have not met anyone who does.

Confronted with this sad situation, and because no one wants to cover the city in plastic, some of Whitewater’s leaders are thinking about increasing municipal fines for public urination. Increase the fines, add more officers, clamp down: these out-of-ideas politicians have no effective solution.

If they think fines will solve the problem, why stop at mere hundreds of dollars? Oh, these weak and timid few – why not aim big, and set the fine at ONE MILLION DOLLARS?

No fines, and no number of officers from near or far, will solve a problem that comes from poor acculturation and lack of true community policing.

Whitewater’s political leaders have tolerated the lack of community-based enforcement for years, and no number of dogs-as-mascots, ride alongs, or encomiums from fawning reporters will compensate. These leaders have settled for so much less in good daily practices that they now find themselves, figuratively if not literally, urinated on.

They’ve forgotten, it seems, the helpful reminder that an ounce of community-based enforcement is worth a gallon of…well, you know.

Photo via Wikipedia

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